Dear mom,
You are amazing.
I’m writing to you with words of absolute thank you. I know that growing up I didn’t realize all that you did for me. Oh, I saw it, like the time that you let us eat ice cream out of the pail when the power went out or when you carefully put the balloons on the wall for my 10th birthday. But, most of the time, most of the time I forgot or didn’t even appreciate all you did.
But now that I’m a mother I’m in awe at how much you gave up for me and my siblings. You gave up sleep, food, time, energy, new things – all because you loved us. Now, I see how hard you worked, how much you gave, and how much you really loved us.
I wish that I had a appreciated it more when I was younger. But, as I’ve learned with my own kids, I was a kid and so often didn’t see (or know) all that you did for me.
I wish I would have given you hugs when you made new dresses instead of knowing me, complaining that I wanted the fabric that you made for my sister instead of the one you labored on for me, or that I would have told you that it was the best dinner ever or that I was thankful for all the time you worked so that I could be able to do what I thought was free but now know really was not.
I’d say I took it for granted, but honestly, I think that’s almost a normal part of childhood. We don’t know how much our mothers do until we’re a mother as well.
So mom, you’ve inspired me in my writing. You’ve inspired me to write words to other moms letting others know that even if their kids complain about dinner loudly – like I did – that it isn’t a reflection on you as a mother. That when kids disobey, complain, sass back, don’t clean their rooms, come home late, yell I hate you, refuse to go to bed, cry, stomp around, and all of that stuff that I just might have done that it actually doesn’t mean that they don’t love their mothers. Because the truth is that I love you more than words could say.
You inspire me to be a better mom.
And so today, the day after when I announced very matter a factly that the main level of our house was a no talking level and that those who talked would get two extra pages of math, today, that was normal day of motherhood. It was just simply part of motherhood.
And, yes, I quickly switched the no talking to just quiet voices and reading on this level but it was just loud and March and there is WAY too much snow outside and I can’t handle everyone going in and out because of the puddles on the floor inside so I decided everyone should just not talk. Sigh.
Sometimes I think that the image of motherhood gets a bit muddled between being Martha Stewart and the Proverbs 31 woman and the woman that we read about in the 11,394 books on motherhood at the store and it’s easy to forget that being a mother often never gets this gold star moment of recognition. Or at least, not certainly while one is in the midst of motherhood. And then we’re hard on ourselves, way too hard on ourselves, for not being what we think the perfect mother should actually be like.
I see it now, mom, I see it now. I see the love, caring, prayers, working, helping, cleaning, counting to ten, creativity, baking, shopping, no sleeping, driving, cheering, and all that mom stuff – that is totally awesome – that you did for me and my siblings. I see it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
